A guide by Pamela Holland

July 28, 2006

Updated: April 8, 2008

My family has taken on the responsibility of caring for elderly parents. This phrase "caring for" comes in many shapes and sizes for millions of people around the country. As of result of my experiences, I have put together a summary of some of the issues caregivers face. Hopefully this information will assist others who have taken on similar responsibilities.

I have included just some of the areas for consideration for what could be a loving, yet complex and confusing time. This time can also be emotionally and physically difficult both for the caregiver and the person being cared for.

You may want to add your own issues to this summary to fit your own experience.

While the summary describes all scenarios in terms of a male parent, this information clearly can be used for the care of anyone for whom you are responsible.

1. Where is your parent currently living?

If your parent is currently living alone in a private home or an apartment, you need to review his environment. Can the parent care for himself in each of the areas of the home?

• Kitchen – Is he able to shop for his food, cook for himself, be responsible for the refrigerator, the stove, the oven, the dishes/pots/pans and the preparation and cleaning up at meal time?
• Bathroom – Is he able to function independently? Can he wash, shower, and toilet himself? Does he require special equipment in the shower, or attached to the toilet? Can he maneuver getting into and out of the shower or tub without assistance?
• Living Room / Dining Room / Den – Can he be responsible for the care of the interior of the home? Can he remember to turn lights on and off, tidy up when necessary, and keep windows and doors shut and locked? Is there a fireplace in the home, and is he responsible for that?
• Bedroom – Is he able to get into and out of bed without assistance? Does he require any special equipment; i.e. transfer rail, adjustable sides, bed risers, special pillows, bedside table, bed trays, etc? Can he care for his clothes, keeping them clean and put away?
• Home interior – Does the house have a large number of stairs? Does it have a security system? Does it have hardwood floors, wall to wall carpet, or scatter rugs? Is he able to maneuver over all of the flooring types? Is he able to keep relatively clean the floors, rugs, and furniture?
• Heating/Cooling – Is he able to adjust the heating or cooling of the home? Is the heating gas, electric or coal? Is there a central air-conditioning unit?
• Exterior – Is he able to take care of the house, garage, yard, driveway, and any buildings or sheds on the property? Are there stairs, ramps, stone pavers, concrete, brick pavers, grass, or dirt?

If your parent is living in a private home, but not alone, you will then need to consider his role or responsibility for each of the areas listed above. Clearly if the parent is unable physically, emotionally or mentally to take on these tasks, then the tasks should be assigned to someone else in the home.

CONTINUED: '2. What are the choices for the future?'

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