2. What are the choices for the future?

• The parent could live with you or a family member or friend.
• The parent could live in a senior community apartment or home.
• The parent could live in an assisted living facility.
• The parent could live in a full service skilled nursing home.

Although the choices above can be quickly listed, the process to move through these choices can be so very daunting. You may require the input of doctors and other professionals to determine the level of care which is required. Then, after a period of time, that decision may need to be made all over again.

Mental and physical capabilities need to be assessed if an assisted or skilled nursing facility is required. You will need to learn about the management style, the staff and the philosophy of the institution you are considering. Be sure to speak with other families who have a family member at the facility. Find out about the individual care, the staff nurses and doctors, the non-licensed care-takers, the rules and regulations, and the cost for non-Medicaid patients. Assess the size of the organization. Make sure to visit when you have an appointment, and also make sure to visit when you do not have an appointment, arriving unannounced. Eat a meal, speak with the patients, and learn about the activities and the available therapies. Make sure that the facility can handle your parent’s special needs, i.e. is he a wanderer? Does he require a lock-down unit? Is special equipment required? Each of these choices should be considered carefully.

It may be that the parent is able to live on his own utilizing one or several services currently available to him:

• General daytime assistance, i.e. meals brought in, someone for housekeeping duties, local religious or community centers which may provide visitors, transportation, or shopping arrangements.
• A local daycare or community facility which could monitor his activities, provide him a daytime meal, and provide transportation to and from the facility.
• A daytime caretaker who visits for a few hours a day to check up on the parent, make sure that all is well, and that he is safe and comfortable.
• Assistance for the daylight hours, providing maintenance support, i.e. cooking, cleaning, and bathroom needs…showering, general hygiene, etc.
• 24 hour care – live in assistance.

3. Does the Parent live with you?

• Do you have full responsibility for the physical and mental care of the parent?
• Do you have help, either from a spouse, children, or extended family members?
• Do you have help from community services, religious affiliations, specific organizations which deal with a parent’s physical limitations?

CONTINUED: '4. What physical limitations does the parent have?'

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