14. Does the parent have funeral arrangements?

None of us wants to think of the day when a loved one will no longer be with us. Regardless of his and your personal belief system, arrangements need to be made. You need to ascertain whether the parent has begun to handle the following issues:

• Does he want to be buried or cremated?
• Does he own a burial plot? If not, does someone know where he wants to be buried? Is there a family plot?
• Has he chosen a funeral director?
• Has he chosen a religious leader?
• Has he chosen a casket?
• Does he want a religious ceremony?
• Does he want flowers, music, speakers?
• Has he provided a list of friends and relatives whom he would like contacted in the event of his death?
• Do you know how he would like his property disposed of?
• If certain items are to be handed to specific individuals, have his wishes been written down?
• Who will be handling the financial arrangements?

At this time of stress, families need advice from professionals and support from friends. Family traditions play a large role is getting through these difficult days, and you should confirm with those family members who are out-of-state as to what their expectations will be, and how they would like to contribute.

Summary:

While these issues do not constitute all that one would need to know in order to care for a parent, these are some of the core issues which would need to be addressed.

I learned over time that working with a parent to compile this information gave us both a sense of accomplishment, and a peace of mind in knowing that information was being handled and appropriately managed.

Although crises did occur, having the answers to these questions, and a strong foundation of information, alleviated much of the stress. These answers provided me and my family with time and assurance to handle whatever came our way. This information helped from turning crises into disasters.

To my parents who have graciously allowed me to step into their lives to learn more about them—- thank you.

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The author of this article, Pamela Holland, is the CFO of Holland Legal Group, Inc, but more importantly is a caring daughter and mother. She encourages your comments, questions, concerns, and most importantly, your stories.

Contact Pamela Holland through MedsFile.com

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